Wednesday, December 23, 2009

So the last few days have been a rough few for me. For some reason I have felt very lonely and sad for myself. My best friend Holly had her baby. He is adorable and I am so happy for her. But then another friend had her baby.. a sis-in-law is due any day.. and another friend found out what they are having.. and it continues and continues.. I want my baby. I want to be having all the experiences of being pregnant with all my friends. I want to be finding out what Im having in the next couple weeks like i shouldve been. I want that amazing connection you and your spouse get with feeling the baby kick and going to dr appointments and all the other fun things that happen. I have been edgy and grumpy lately and I feel I have taken most of it out on my husband which is the last person who deserves it. Tommy is amazing. He is an amazing person and an even more amazing husband. He brings me home roses almost every week.. he cleans the house.. he does the laundry.. he tells me more in one day how special I am and how much he loves me then some wives hear in a week. I love him so much and can't even remember what my life was like before he was in it. And i dont want to! I feel like in some ways this couldve been a secret blessing becuase I have come to appreciate my husband much more and absolutely LOVE the time I get to spend with just him!! We have so much fun even when were just sitting at home cooking dinner together or watching a movie together or taking our dogs on a walk :) We have a beautiful house, 2 running vehicles, jobs, 2 special pups, wonderful families that are all mostly close.. I have been blessed in so many ways and .sometimes need to sit back and look at them all when im feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for everyone making our trials lately much easier.. our families are amazing