Wednesday, December 23, 2009

So the last few days have been a rough few for me. For some reason I have felt very lonely and sad for myself. My best friend Holly had her baby. He is adorable and I am so happy for her. But then another friend had her baby.. a sis-in-law is due any day.. and another friend found out what they are having.. and it continues and continues.. I want my baby. I want to be having all the experiences of being pregnant with all my friends. I want to be finding out what Im having in the next couple weeks like i shouldve been. I want that amazing connection you and your spouse get with feeling the baby kick and going to dr appointments and all the other fun things that happen. I have been edgy and grumpy lately and I feel I have taken most of it out on my husband which is the last person who deserves it. Tommy is amazing. He is an amazing person and an even more amazing husband. He brings me home roses almost every week.. he cleans the house.. he does the laundry.. he tells me more in one day how special I am and how much he loves me then some wives hear in a week. I love him so much and can't even remember what my life was like before he was in it. And i dont want to! I feel like in some ways this couldve been a secret blessing becuase I have come to appreciate my husband much more and absolutely LOVE the time I get to spend with just him!! We have so much fun even when were just sitting at home cooking dinner together or watching a movie together or taking our dogs on a walk :) We have a beautiful house, 2 running vehicles, jobs, 2 special pups, wonderful families that are all mostly close.. I have been blessed in so many ways and .sometimes need to sit back and look at them all when im feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for everyone making our trials lately much easier.. our families are amazing

7 comments:

Tahnee said...

oh natalie.. you and tommy are so awesome! i he really does treat you so good. i know your time will come when you will be prego.. and get to experience all the things that come with it :)

Aaron & Laura said...

Natalie I love you soo much! Your so awesome! I'm really sorry that this happenened! Your time will come to be a mom! Nad you'll make a great mother!!! I love you!!

Chair Losee said...

Nat, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That's by far the hardest thing. When I had mine, it was devastating but later down the road I realized it was a total blessing in hiding. And now I'm pregnant again, and you will be too. Hang in there girl, Love you tons! Did you get rid of all those dang puppies?!

Brooks Family ♥ said...

Hey Natalie, I know I dont know you very well. I am good friends with Jessica and she told me about your miscarriage. The same exact thing just happened to me. I was 9 weeks along, but the baby died at 5 and I had a miscarriage on the 8th. I know what you are going through and I am so sorry you are going through it. It is so hard and you are in my prayers. I just keep telling myself things will get better. If you ever need to talk, I am here. if you want to be invited to my blog send me an email at chantealbrooks@yahoo.com

Christie Knight said...

Hey you-try and hang in there. I know things are rough right now. If you need anything let us know. You guys are in our thoughts and prayers!

cindy said...

having done it twice...I still never think of it as a blessing...I don't know our Fathers plans...but eyes on the future, growing more in love with Tommy every day, friends and family, and knowing there is a plan, will make it all seem right...someday!

Jordyn Perkins said...

You and Tommy are so cute together! And I am so glad to hear that he is such a great hubby! ;) No surprise there. You are so adorable. Hang in there beautiful. Your baby will be a reality sooner than you know. Someday we will be able to know the why's, for now take heart, hold to your faith. Love you.