Life

I sometimes feel inadequate. As a mother..wife..student..friend.. whatever it may be. I have been feeling like this lately. Life has been hard. Tommy works. a lot. and is at school or study groups or doing homework. a lot. and I just miss him. I miss all the time we used to have for eachother. I miss the late night movies, the late night drink runs, the mornings we got to sleep in late and snuggle, and most of all just the time we had to sit and talk. About our dreams..our goals..our weeks..our burdens.. anything and everything. Then theres the babe. The most precious and greatest thing that has happened to me. I am so incredibly humbled to know that my dear Father in Heaven trusted me with this little girl. But the last week she has been teething which has made it a hard, long, dreadful week. My patience has been tested and failed many, many times. I get so stressed and frazzled and I start being grumpy towards her and the hubs. Then later I lay in bed after I put her to sleep and I just feel bad. Bad for the way I behaved or reacted and bad for the poor mother and wife I have been. Did I do something memorable today? Was I productive? Did I sit and spend time with this sweet baby of mine that I get to stay home with everyday? Did I do any service? Am I cherishing every moment I get with her because they seem to be passing by so fast that I cant hardly stand it? usally not..I promise myself everynight I'm not going to feel this way tomorrow. I'm going to be happy, strong, selfless, fun, adventurous.. I'm going to do something memorable with and for my baby. I'm going to stop worrying and start cherishing. I'm still working on it...

One of my favorite poems...


Mother, O' Mother, come shake out your cloth, Empty the dustpan, poison the moth. Hang out the washing, make up the bed, Sew on a button and butter the bread. Where is the mother whose house is so shocking? She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue, Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo. Dishes are waiting and bills are past due, Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek - peekaboo. The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew, And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo. But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo. Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue? Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo. The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep! I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep