Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Looking on the bright side

I wasn't going to write about this but today I read a family friends blog that really touched me and I decided to go ahead. So most of you that read my blog know about the miscarriage we had back in November. It was devastating..it was the hardest thing i've ever been through and it broke my heart. Well on March 8th after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, we found out we were expecting once again. We were so excited, it felt like things were going to start looking up again. Then saturday came. I started having some cramping and bleeding and all the worry came back.

My dr. got me in Monday morning for an ultrasound. He couldn't see anything which led him to 3 options.
A-I was pregnant just not far enough along to see yet.
B-I was miscarrying again.
C-it was ectopic
Well at this point I was obviously devasted once again. 2 of the 3 options were not good news..and the other didn't seem promising since that still didn't explain the bleeding.

So I went and had blood work done to see what my number levels read. They came back low which shows once again, we lost the beginnings of our sweet baby. I was sad, discouraged, angry, and at peace all at once. I had my time and days to cry, to sulk, to take lots of bubble baths and cry some more.. then I decided I'm going to do my best to be happy. To look on the brighter side of things. Maybe that baby would've had a complication, not been able to live a normal life..Maybe this was heavenly fathers way of avoiding a lifetime of trial by giving us this one? So we are moving forward. We are having fun together and loving spending time just us. Our baby will come. Its hard to be patient and sometimes understand, but were trying :)

15 comments:

Scott & Shayla said...

Oh Nat I am so sorry to hear this :( I hope you guys are doing ok during this hard time. If you need anything let me know I love you and I will keep you both in our prayers

Christie Knight said...

Hey-so sorry to hear this. Please let us know if you need anything. You guys are in our prayers.

cindy said...

The baby you finally get to raise here on earth will be Awesome...because he/she will have strong,awesome parents! We love you lots!

Stephanie Walker said...

you can borrow my kids anytime! They will help you look at the bright side! ;)

Winn & Holly Workman said...

hey nat! im glad you are looking at the bright side of things! its the only way to stay happy and I love you guys and know your baby will come when he/she is ready to! :)

Tahnee said...

oh nat! i am glad that you are trying to be happy! sometimes that is all you can do! i love ya so much and you will be in my prayers! and when the time is right you and tommy will be such awesome parents :)

Ron and Paula said...

So glad that you are being positive even when it is hard. :) Life is not always easy and you will be richly rewarded for your patience when the time finally comes. Love you!

Lance and Kimberlee said...

Nat, I was so happy to find your blog and add it to our blog since we've recently joined the blogging world, but then I was so sad to read your post. I'm so sorry, we'll keep you in our prayers. Love you two!

jack+alli said...

i am so sorry. but your attitude is wonderful! while i dont know what it is like to miscarry, i do know what its like to want to have children and not get them when you want. your last two sentences could not be more true. your baby WILL come. and you will appreciate that baby so much more having to have worked so hard and waited for them to come. my prayers are with you.
xoxo
allison

Brie said...

Hey Nat. Thanks for sharing your story. And thanks for your sweet comments on our blog. It's so hard to lose a baby whether it's been several weeks or just one. You amaze me. I don't know what my additude would be if I had to go through it more than once. Please keep me (or your blog) updated on how you are doing. You are in my prayers.

Brooks Family ♥ said...

I am so sorry! I am going to email you...

Brie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brie said...

A friend of mine just found out what happened to us and she sent me a link to one of her blogs. She has had two miscarriages that I know of. It's a great blog and I thought it might help you too. http://miscarriage-resource.blogspot.com/ She recommends a book on her blog Gone Too Soon that you might want to read. Love ya.

The*Evans*Family said...

Sorry to hear this news. Your little one will come. Be positive. I know that can be super hard and is easier said than done! I miscarried and did fertility stuff between Carson and Blake. I do think the stress and worry takes a toll on your body, so do the best you can to relax about it. I'll be thinking about you.

S & K Merrill said...

you are in our prayers daily,we love you so much!!Wish we could take away the pain and sadness!!xoxoxox